Friday, October 06, 2006

Money is the Root of All Baseball

Money is more baseball than important, and every line has to have the name of a first-baseman and a dollar amount. For example: Steve Garvey hit a double and a single and I borrowed a thousand dollars from my mother. The ball popped out of the catcher's mitt and was caught by Pete Rose when the boys chased me and I came home from school with blood on my knees. Keith Hernandez fielded the bunt perfectly and got the runner at second base and they paid me an extra thousand dollars to model for modern painters 103 with Professor Ruskin. Albert Pujols homered to win game one for the Cardinals and I transferred a thousand dollars from my checking to my savings account.
Thus would the meaning of inflation be conveyed, and thus would the limits of my vocabulary mean the limits of my world, which is a good reason to learn English or be grateful it's your first language. But Don Mattingly no longer plays first for the Yankees and it will cost many thousands of dollars to reform our high schools or get this country moving again.
Is this a prose sonnet? It is.


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